The DeBroff DeBrief

Debbie Rowe Plans to Assert Parenting Rights to Michael Jackson's Kids

Debbie Rowe today announced plans to ask a Los Angeles court to restore her parental rights, with the custody of her two children hanging in the balance. It was only a matter of time I suspected before we would be hearing from Debbie Rowe, Michael Jackson's ex-wife and parent of his two oldest children, about the fate awaiting her kids. "I want my children," Rowe told Los Angeles NBC.

The opening forays of a custody battle over Jackson's children has already gotten underway, with his mother Katherine Jackson winning temporary legal guardianship based on a Jackson 2002 will filed with the court, with a formal hearing set for August 3. Katherine Jackson's lawyer have filed a lengthy guardianship petition asserting the children have had no relationship with their biological mother.

This is not the first time Debbie Rowe has asserted and backed off her parental rights, with previous cries of foul from the Jackson camp as being aimed at getting money. Married in 1996 for the express purpose of bearing his children, Michael Joseph Jackson (known as Prince Michael), 12, and Paris-Michael Katherine, 11, the couple divorced in 1999.   Judge Stephen Lachs who presided over the divorce hearing at first agreed to Rowe's request for legal parent rights termination heralding Michael as a great father, but an appeals court reversed his decision in 2006 based on Rowe's petition to return the rights to her.  The appeals court wrote,  ""A court cannot enter a judgment terminating parental rights based solely upon the parties' stipulation that the child's mother or father relinquishes those rights." Full custody for the kids still resided with Jackson. Rowe subsequnetly went back to court over Jackson's decision to take the kids with him to Bahrain, citing her fear about the influence of the Nation of Islam on the children.

  Moreover, rumors have surfaced (TMZ, US Magazine) that the children never were biologically Michael's Jackson, but rather conceived by donor sperm, possibly that of Jackson's dermatologist and Rowe's former employer Arnold Klein. Other rumors have the children being conceived in vitro, not being biologically Rowe's, with Rowe serving as a paid surrogate mother.  Legal documents or contracts surrounding the births apparently exist but have yet to surface.

As the two children’s presumed biological mother, Rowe will have a strong legal claim to their custody if she decides to fight for them in court, especially given the age of 79 of Michael's mother to whom he left custody in a seven-year-old will, with provisiong appointing Diana Ross as back-up legal guardian in the event that his Mom cannot fulfill her guardianship obligations. No doubt documents will be called forth by legal teams at the August hearing as to the details of each child's birth, with more revelations to unfold.  And will Blanket, Michael Jackson's youngest child, possibly be separated from his siblings? A legal quagmire but be awaiting these kids, along with an unveiling of what went on behind the masks, veils and secrecy of their birth and upbringing.

Summer Staycation Safety Survival Tips: An Interview with Betsy Titus

We recently had a chance to talk to Betsy Titus, the Business Development Manager, Global Building Materials and Life Safety & Security Industries at Underwriters Laboratories. Betsy's experience, both personally and professionally, has put her in a unique position to advise Moms as we strive to keep our kids safe this summer, by the pool, in the backyard, near  the grill, at the playground, and at home.

Betsy's bio:

With more than 25 years at Underwriters Laboratories (UL), safety is a second language for me. I work within the independent safety organization’s Global Building Materials and Life Safety & Security Industries, which includes passive fire resistance and containment, fire detection and security, fire suppression systems, building materials and contents, personal protective equipment and fire equipment services.

When you add “mother of three” to my resume, it’s “safe” to say I understand the important role safety plays in keeping families happy and healthy. I have one child who’s off to college, one in high school and my youngest is in grade school. UL has helped me understand the unique set of safety considerations parents must know about at every age.

When not managing my family’s safety routine, I work alongside the nation’s fire community to develop new services at UL. In any given day I interact with fire marshals, fire chiefs, architects, insurance companies, fire protection engineers, consultants and industry trade associations – all in the interest of safety.

I graduated from Valparaiso University with a bachelor’s of science in civil engineering and began my career in 1981 with UL as a fire protection engineer. Throughout my tenure, I have enjoyed multiple careers at UL, including strategic planning, marketing and management of a business development team, development of strategic and tactical business plans and implementation of plans through partnerships with testing and certification organizations worldwide. Thanks to my role at UL, I’m able to share a safety savvy skill set that any mother can apply in every stage of her life.

And, when we recently spoke to Betsy, here's what she had to say about keeping our kids safe this season:

As we get ready for summer with our families, we tend to focus on barbecues, pool parties, and fun. But what should parents keep in mind when it comes to summer safety?

My family, like many, will be taking advantage of the great summer weather to spend as much time as we can outdoors. Since the economy has lots of families looking for ways to save a few dollars, the backyard is a perfect spot for a cook-out, a pool party, or place for the kids to spend a few hours running around. But what parents should always remember is that the backyard – a place that seems safe – is where nearly 40 percent of unintentional child injuries happen each summer, many involving the pool, the grill or play set equipment.

We often think that our kids will be safer in our own backyards, especially with parental supervision. What should we be watching out for that may come as a surprise to some parents?

You’re absolutely right that even though the backyard seems safe, supervision is so important. What I’ve always found surprising is how quickly a child can become injured. For example, a child can drown in as little as two inches of water in as much time as it takes for you to go inside and answer the telephone. And a child can slip, fall from a play set and sustain a head injury in seconds. Make sure you’ve thoroughly inspected your backyard for hazards and make sure you have taken appropriate steps, like those we suggest at UL, to prevent dangers.

What is the number one threat when it comes to our families’ safety this summer?

I always tend to feel that the number one threat is a lack of parental supervision, especially for young children. Kids can seriously injure themselves in a split second – a parent should always be nearby, whether it’s to prevent dangerous play, like pushing or shoving on the play set, or to soothe a scraped knee.

What tips do you have when it comes to keeping kids safe around a pool? A barbecue? Playground equipment?

Here’s a list of the top 10 tips that UL suggests parents always follow:

Pool Safety

1)    Supervision is a must: Good supervision means you are able to scan the pool within 10 seconds and reach the water within 20 seconds.

2)    Put multiple safety barriers between children and the pool: Install a four-foot fence with a self-closing, self-latching gate that has a locking mechanism beyond a child's reach. Also be sure to cut overhanging tree limbs and remove chairs or ladders from the pool area to prevent children from climbing over the fence surrounding the pool.

3)    Always check the pool first if a child is missing: Child drowning is often a silent death that alerts no one with splashes or yells for help. Many drowning accidents happen when children have been missing for less than five minutes.

4)    Empty small wading pools after children are done playing and remove all toys: Infants can drown in just a few inches of water. Pool toys may attract children to the pool when it is unattended.

Backyard Safety

5)    Keep grills a safe distance – about 10 feet – from any structure: Grilling mishaps cause more than 8,300 fires and send 3,000 people to the emergency room each year. Never grill indoors or near garages or porches and always keep kids and pets at a safe distance.

6)    Have a spray bottle or fire extinguisher handy:  An unexpected flare-up can burn more than your burgers. Use a spray bottle filled with water to avoid flare-ups and have a fire extinguisher nearby. Also, coals get hot – in some cases up to 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit – so dispose of charcoal away from kids and pets and cool it down with a hose.

7)    Never use gasoline or kerosene to light a charcoal fire: Both can cause an explosion. When grilling, use insulated, flame retardant mitts and long handled barbeque tongs and utensils to handle food and coals.

8)    Check gas grill hoses for cracking, brittleness, holes and leaks: If the tank valve or grill needs repair, do not attempt to do it yourself. Take it to your local home improvement store or qualified appliance repair person.

9)    Inspect outdoor decorative lights carefully: Some families may be adding backyard ambience with outdoor decorative lighting. Do not connect more than three midget light string sets together. Light strings with screw-in bulbs should have a maximum of 50 bulbs connected together. Be sure to use light strings that bear the UL Mark -- the UL Mark on a product means that UL has tested samples of the product for risk of fire, electric shock and other hazards.

Playground Safety

10)    Carefully inspect backyard playground equipment: More than 70 percent of all playground-related deaths occur on home playground equipment, which is why families should:
•    Install protective surfacing – like rubber mulch or woodchips – at least six feet in all directions from play equipment;
•    Make sure equipment is anchored safely in the ground; all equipment pieces are in good working order; S-hooks are entirely closed; and bolts are not protruding; and,
•    Check for spaces that could trap children, like openings in guardrails or between ladder rungs. These spaces should measure less than 3.5 inches or more than 9 inches.

What are your top safety-proofing tips for around the home in the summer months?

Homes should be safety-proofed year-round. But, because 2.7 million children make emergency room visits in the summer, it’s especially important to make safety a priority in and around the house. The five areas in the home UL recommends to summer safety-proof include the pool, backyard, kitchen, bathroom and family room.

When it comes to safety issues with your own children, what types of rules do you set in the summertime?

The summer rules with my children are simple:

•    I talk with them and make sure everyone knows and agrees upon the rules and boundaries in place for the summer.
•    Before my kids leave the house, they check in so I know exactly where they’re going to be, whether in the backyard, on a bike ride or heading to the neighbor’s house to go swimming.
•    I also need to know exactly who they are going to be with and when they will return home if they leave the yard.
•    Every so often I take a few minutes to remind them about the rules, especially when there’s the inevitable slip-up. When I see that they’ve done something they know is not OK, it’s a good time to have a “teachable moment” where we discuss the boundaries we agreed upon.

Are there safety concerns we should be aware of indoors as well?

Absolutely. You have a great opportunity in the summer when your kids are home to talk to them about important safety topics. And as many moms know, injuries can just as easily happen indoors as outdoors. Here are a few ways that UL recommends the home be safety-proofed year-round:

Home Safety Tips:

Bathroom
•    Keep medications, cleaning products and other poisons away from children and pets.
•    Make sure that you have ground fault circuit interrupter (GFCI) outlets installed in the bathroom as well as in the kitchen, laundry room and workshop.
Kitchen
•    Store all portable and small appliances and their cords out of the reach of children and always keep them a safe distance away from the sink if plugged in.
•    Every home should have working, UL Listed smoke detectors and fully charged UL Listed fire extinguishers strategically placed in the kitchen, garage and workshop.
Bedrooms
•    Install UL LISTED smoke and carbon monoxide (CO) alarms outside every sleeping area.
•    Place halogen torchiere lamps in locations where they cannot be tipped over by children, pets, or a strong draft from an open window. Do not allow curtains or other combustible materials to come in contact with torchiere lamps at any time.
Family / Living room
•    Use outlet plug covers to prevent children from inserting objects into outlets.
•    Never run an electrical cord under a rug or carpet, or drape it over a hot surface such as that of a radiator or space heater.
•    Make sure all portable lamps and fixtures are equipped with light bulbs of equal or lesser wattage than that recommended by the lamp or fixture manufacturer.
•    Unplug all extension cords when not in use and never use an extension cord that is cut or damaged.

While we want to keep our kids safe, part of this summer’s theme for many families will be having fun while saving money. How can parents ensure safety measures fit into their budgets?

Budgeting for safety is easy. There are so many creative ways to have fun without spending money, while also staying safe. It’s about teaching your children how to play safe and being diligent about supervising their activities. Children should know the rules of safe outdoor play, whether that means staying away from the pool when adults are not present, or letting mom know when they’re leaving for a friend’s house.

How should parents help their children keep summer safety measures in mind?

Remind them frequently of the rules because children simply don’t remember. It only takes a few minutes and if you keep safety top-of-mind, your child will as well. You need to be a role model for your children because safety is so important.

Have you ever had any scares with your own 3 children?

Absolutely, every mom experiences those.  I can remember many incidents, particularly at the pool. At a public pool or a pool party there are always lots of other kids around; it’s a scary feeling if, after taking your eyes off your child for even a moment, you can’t find her right away. This sense of panic has really hit home for me how important supervision is when you have kids swimming at the pool.

What advice do you have for parents who often have other children over to their house? How can we ensure that friends and neighbors follow our safety rules?

No matter who is at your home, the safety rules should remain the same. First and foremost, you need to talk to the parents and make sure they support you. Then it’s time to make sure that all the children know the house rules. Gather them for a quick discussion to make sure they everyone knows and agrees with the safety rules you’ve set. Those who don’t agree to safe play will not be welcomed back.

Similarly, how can we make sure that our children are safe when they go to play at other houses?

Again, the rules shouldn’t change when your child goes to another home. Talk to him or her about any safety concerns you may have before stepping foot out of the house. Make sure they’re prepared with everything they need and be familiar with the home where they are playing.

It’s helpful if your children know emergency contact information – a home phone number, home address, mom’s cell phone, etc. And if there are any details that the host parents should know about your child, like allergies or health problems, make sure they are informed before you leave your child under their supervision. 

How can we keep our pets safe in the backyard?

Pets are a lot like children – they can get into all kinds of mischief in minutes. They should also be supervised and kept a safe distance from backyard hazards, especially dangers posed by a lit grill or a swimming pool.

Do you have any other advice for moms who want to enjoy summer activities while saving money and keeping their families healthy and happy?

Being safety smart supports the goal of enjoying summer activities and staying healthy and happy. And if your kids are safe and happy, you won’t have to spend time or money on visits to the emergency room!
But most of all, remember to have fun!  Moms should take the opportunity to get outside and interact with their kids. It’s a great way to stay active and supervise at the same time. It only takes a couple minutes to remind your kids to play safe; once everyone has the rules down, summer will be more enjoyable for all!

Thanks for taking the time to talk to us, Betsy! These are wonderful tips to help all of us keep our families safe this summer and all year round!

Governor Sanford: Failure as a Politician and as a Father

It seems political figures can’t keep themselves out of the news – and not because of their careers. The recent case involving South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford, in which he fled to Argentina (unbeknownst to his staff and other state leaders) to see his mistress, Maria Belen Chapur, is the latest in a long string of similar stories, and it has brought with it a firestorm of criticism, calls for his impeachment, and more than a little sympathy for his wife Jenny. 

Much of the public controversy in this case revolves around the question of whether or not Sanford’s actions make him an unfit leader. As previous cases of politician infidelity, like those of Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Elliott Spitzer, have proven, for those in the public spotlight, their personal lives do not remain separate from their political ones. And, like those other instances, Sanford’s situation brings up issues of loyalty, trust, and transparency, both when it comes to his constituency and when it comes to his family.

After admitting the affair, Governor Sanford went on to claim that, although he hopes to work things out with his wife, he is in love with his mistress and grappling with his deep feelings for her. Besides the fact that his comments are incredibly tactless, the question becomes at what point we allow someone’s emotions to rule the day. One of the things that often poses a challenge to parents is toeing the line between their own desires and doing what is best for their children. Governor Sanford clearly put his own hedonism and self-interest first, placing his wife in an incredibly difficult position. This is not just a personal betrayal, but a powerful statement to his four sons. Even if the Governor had refrained from speaking out so candidly, children see, hear, and understand far more than they are given credit for. Although kids, the Governor’s children certainly aren’t immune to what takes place around them. What kind of example is he setting for his sons? As a father and role model, he has violated basic principles of trust, loyalty, and the importance of putting his kids first.

Obviously, there’s plenty of disappointment and shame involved when it comes to Jenny as well. His wife of 20 years, Jenny is a Georgetown-educated, Former Wall Street VP, who ran her husband’s first gubernatorial campaign and has been instrumental in the building of his career. "It's hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he was,” she says now. And although she knew about the affair and allowed her husband to meet with Chapur when she thought he planned to end it, her shock and pain likely increased with the Governor’s recent comments about this not being an affair, but a “love story.” She responded to recent questioning about his uncertain future by saying, “His career is not a concern of mine . . . I’m worried about my family and the character of my children.”

And while he admits that he “let down a lot of people,” this type of damage is not something that can easily be undone. The moral of the story is – think before you act. Especially when it involves your children.

I was recently asked to comment about this on CNN. See the video here.

Tide and Bounce Make My Life Easier (Plus Exclusive Offer!)

I’m one of those Moms who has come to believe that the sun never sets on my washer and dryer. With two kids on sports fields every day, my own gardening, and messy dinners that always seem to make themselves part of my family’s clothing, I feel like I have more laundry than I can keep up with sometimes. And, as all Moms know, laundry can quickly become the bane of your existence.

Tide and Bounce are introducing two new products with this in mind. Both are not just great time savers - they actually do the hard work for you.

The Bounce Dryer Bar, which looks a lot like a bar of soap, takes dryer sheets to a new level. You simply attach it to the inside of your dryer and then let it work its magic – it freshens laundry and controls static for four months! Which is just one less thing to worry about every day – no more constantly bending over, forgetting to use dryer sheets, or having to look for them tangled up in your bed sheets. How’s that for convenient?

Equally inventive is Tide Stain Release, a new “in-wash booster” that blasts away stains while you’re doing the laundry. The formula is available in 3 forms, though my favorite is the package of little pouches that resemble dishwashing detergent gel tablets. Simply throw them in with the laundry (or use the powder or liquid forms) to fight difficult stains while you wash. Virtually every time I do laundry I know that my kids’ clothes are going to be covered with stains, from grass to marinara sauce, but if I don’t have time to find and treat every individual stain (and who does?), I no longer have to worry.

Besides the ease and ingenuity of these products, they’re both truly innovations against petty inconveniences. And anything that saves me time and enables me to take one more thing off my checklist isn’t just convenient – it actually becomes transformative. Those few minutes add up every wash cycle and become hours of my life that I get back. And what Mom doesn’t want that?

Although these products won’t be available in stores until later this summer, you can buy some Tide Stain Release today as part of an exclusive Internet presale. There are very limited quantities, so get there quickly! The presale starts today, July 1, at 4:30 at www.tidestainrelease.com.

How Much is a Mom Worth? (According to the Experts)

 

Being a Mom is more than a full-time job. Between managing schedules, preparing meals, breaking up fights and making sure my kids (or husband) don’t set the house on fire. I have lot on my plate every day. And there have been times that I can’t help but wonder, "what if someone paid me to do this?!"

Well, Salary.com came up with a formula to calculate to what a Mom’s work is worth (financially, of course), and this Boston Working Mom of two teenagers would be making $85,953!!! In contrast, the Mom Salary Wizard has SAHMs earning roughly $50,000 more per year, because, in theory, they spend more time doing Mom tasks.

So what are Mom Tasks? Sarary.com surveyed over 12,000 Moms to find out what jobs we do most frequently and how much time we spend doing them. From this survey they determined that a Mom’s workload is primarily a mix of 10 different tasks—Laundry Machine Operator, Janitor, Van Driver, Housekeeper, Computer Operator I, Cook, Day Care Center Teacher, Facilities Manager, Psychologist and Chief Executive Officer. They also came up with a slide show that breaks down the information by task and amount ‘earned.’

Salary.com updates their Mom data each year (May-May) and they found that in 2008-2009, Moms are working harder than ever! Not only are Moms outsourcing less and doing more themselves, but they're also spending more time on the ‘higher-paying jobs’ such as facilities manager, CEO, and psychologist.

Want to see what your salary would be? Visit Mom.Salary.com, to find out. They also have one for Dads. I made my husband his own personalized check and slipped it into his Father’s Day card. Of course, even without the paycheck, doing all those jobs for our kids is worth it. But it's always nice to get some recognition!

What's in the Stars? An Interview with Amanda Owen

We recently had a chance to talk with Amanda Owen, an astrologer and author who utilizes her unique expertise to help individuals understand them selves and work towards the futures they want. Her insights into children's astrology is also incredibly beneficial for parents! When we talked to her, she had plenty to say about what astrology really is, what insights you can gain from it, and how to use it in your own life or to deal with issues you face when parenting. Plus, after the interview, find out how you can ask Amanda a question about your own life or parenting your child.

When did you get started with astrology?

In 1974, when I was nineteen years old, I attended a party where I had a very interesting conversation with an astrologer. Up until that time, the only thing I knew about astrology was my Sun Sign. I was fascinated to hear this astrologer talk about how much was involved in the study of astrology and I decided to learn more. She told me where I could purchase the books I would need to mathematically construct a birth chart. There were no computers back then to do the calculations. For the following ten years, I did the charts of friends and family members as I deepened my understanding of astrology.

I was twenty-nine years old when I decided to make astrology my profession. I began to give readings part time and that same year I cofounded the Philadelphia Astrology Society with several other astrologers. One of the astrologers who had a full-time practice moved to Europe for a year and gave me his practice. By the time he returned, I had a full-time job as an astrologer!

What was it that interested you in the field?

I was fascinated by the idea that a map of the sky at the moment of birth could reveal information about me that could help me to make good decisions. Once I had studied astrology for a decade, I wanted to make that information available to other people.

Can you give us some background information on astrology charts and horoscopes?

Astrology addresses every part of your life from your deepest dreams and desires to your spirituality, from your friendships to your love life. Although astrology has been around a long time (historians trace it back to at least 2500 B.C.), it has been adapted over the years to meet the changing needs of humanity. It has survived the rise and fall of civilizations, from times when astrology’s benefits were available to everyone, to periods when it was reserved for royalty and the wealthy. In modern times astrological information has been used by people from all walks of life, including presidents (Ronald Reagan), business people (J.P. Morgan), and those you personally know.

Astrology charts are maps of the sky at a particular date, time and place. Everyone has their own map called a birth chart. When astrologers provide consultations for their clients, they look at much more than the Sun Sign. The date, time, and city of birth are used to calculate an astrology birth chart, which contains all of the planets in addition to the Sun and Moon. Astrologers examine the location of the planets and the signs they occupy; they observe the planets angular relationships to each other and their relationship to the earth. It’s complicated and takes years to learn.

A horoscope that you read in the newspaper, a magazine or online, gives information about only a part of that map—the Sun Sign. Even though your Sun Sign doesn’t tell everything about you, it does describe an important and central theme of your life. Think of it this way. If you go to the doctor and have your blood pressure checked, the doctor can give you information based on that test. She or he will not be able to tell you about everything that is going on in your body. Reading your daily or monthly horoscope based on your Sun Sign, is just the same. A skilled horoscope writer will be able to impart information that can be helpful or give you something to think about. But detailed information is something only a qualified astrologer can give you.

How should a person integrate their horoscope into their daily life and decisions?

Horoscope information can be valuable when placed within a larger context. Most people understand that advice offered in a medical column is not a substitute for a visit to the doctor, nor does reading a self-help book replace the guidance of a therapist. But, clearly, both can be helpful.

Not all horoscopes are written by skilled astrologers! So first, follow what a particular horoscope says and determine if the information has any value for you.

Has studying astrology taught you any life lessons that you find especially valuable?

Where do I start?! Learning astrology has had a profound effect on my life. Knowing my own birth chart has helped me to understand myself, has helped me to make use of my strengths and gifts and to work out and heal those parts of myself and my life that have been difficult. Astrology provides a non-judgmental view of yourself and your life. Because of that it becomes easy to look at all of the different parts of yourself.

I also use astrology for timing. Sometimes, no matter what you do, it seems as if the world and people are not cooperating. Other times, it’s like you have a green light. Astrology shows you when those times occur.

We understand that you have nieces and a nephew with whom you have shared astrology. How have they been able to use it themselves?

My nieces and nephew have told me that knowing something about their astrology charts—especially their Sun Signs have helped them to understanding themselves and to make better decisions because of that knowledge. For example, my ten-year-old Scorpio niece tells me that knowing that Scorpios tend to not talk about what they are feeling and that they will feel better if they share their feelings made sense to her. She reminds herself to speak up.

I was talking with my Virgo niece the other day. She is eighteen years old now! We were discussing astrology. Now that she has just finished her first year of college and is working full-time for the summer, she said knowing that her desire to be productive, helpful and to work hard (three Virgo characteristics) are innate and integral to her personality, she understands how important it is to find work that she likes. One of a Virgo’s strongest traits is their desire to help, which leads many Virgos to the helping/healing professions. Knowing that she has a tendency to overly focus on helping others, she reminds herself to include her own needs so that she feels more balance in her life.

What I have found in general when I talk about astrology with children and young adults is that astrology gives legitimacy to those personality traits that they know to be true. But it also gives them information about how to strengthen those behaviors that give them self-confidence and how to think more thoughtfully about how they can get in their own way without meaning to. Really, this is what we adults learn through astrology also, but getting that information early helps them to make beneficial decisions earlier in life.

You’ve studied children’s astrology charts. Can you explain the importance of understanding this specialty?

Knowing your child’s chart is like having a manual that has everything you could possibly want to know about the child. Anything that helps parents understand their children is valuable. Often problems arise in relationships with adults and children simply because of a lack of understanding.

How can astrology help moms navigate motherhood, both in terms of their own charts and those of their children?

This is a very big question that I could write an entire book about! So, let me give a couple of examples to illustrate astrology’s value.

Astrology offers information a mother can use to help her understand her child's talents, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. This knowledge can help her to assist her child in becoming more comfortable and self-assured and can provide information about activities that fit his or her personality. Often, simply having the correct information can help us to understand a child's needs which are sometimes quite different from our own.

I'll give you an example of what I mean by this. A mother came to me asking for help with her twin teenage girls. Each summer she took her children to a foreign country. This particular year, her children rebelled—refusing to go. The mother with her Sun in Sagittarius, a sign known for its love of travel, and her Moon in Aries, the sign of adventure, felt that learning about other cultures was not only fun, but helpful.

When I looked at the twins’ charts I saw that their Sun was in ambitious Capricorn and the Moon in hard-working Virgo. Both of these earth signs are known for their practicality and the desire to tangibly improve their circumstances. The overall astrological pattern showed that they were grounded sensible girls.

“It looks like they would rather get a summer job and make money,” I said. The mother told me that was exactly what they were begging her to let them do!

There was no way that the mother was going to change her Capricorn daughters into Sagittarians. The conflict she was experiencing had to do with her own difficulty in accepting the idea that her daughters did not share her love of travel. Once she was able to let go of the idea that the summer trip would be "good" for her daughters, she decided to bring a friend with her on the trip and help her daughters find summer jobs.

Every mother wants to help her children to become successful happy adults. Astrology gives the mother specific information that helps her to support her children’s talents as well as clue her in to the areas they find difficult. For example, a child with a Taurus Sun Sign or the Moon or planetary placements in Taurus feels the most comfortable knowing ahead of time what is going to occur. A Taurus will appreciate you saying, “After we have lunch, we are going to go visit grandma for a little while. On the way home, we will stop by the grocery store.”

A cuddly Cancer child is extra sensitive and loves family-time. They are collectors and whether they make a family of stuffed animals or have a stamp collection, they love to put things in groups and watch over them. They are sentimental. They are the kids who save a shell from their trip to the beach and a keepsake from their first day of school. I

 have a client who has two children. The oldest is an Aquarius and the second, a Cancer. When she took her oldest to his first day of school, he entered the classroom to join the other children without a look back at his weepy mother. She watched as he happily played with the other children. Three years later, she told herself not to cry as she brought her Cancer child to the school. She told me that she was guiltily grateful when her youngest child cried and wanted his mother to stay with him. She happily joined him for a while until he felt more comfortable.

Staying with these two Sun Signs for a minute—can you see that knowing an Aquarius child’s friendships are important helps the mom to make sure that her child is introduced to environments where there are other children? For example, a home-schooled Aquarian child will benefit by joining a Little League team, a dance class and going to plenty of play-dates. On the other hand, the Cancer child would love to stay home with mom and may need extra help acclimating to group environments which may feel a bit intimidating at first.

A child’s chart is much more complicated than this so I am giving you some general ideas. Each child chart is as unique as the child and like all people we are complicated with varying needs and desires.

What types of questions have you heard from parents when it comes to problems with their kids?

Many of the questions I receive are from mothers wanting insight into their children to help guide them. Some years ago I wrote a column titled Little Stars where parents asked questions about their children. They also provided their birth data. Here are a couple of typical questions:

My son Richard is shy with other children and I am curious as to whether this is due to him being an only child and not having a great deal of social interaction with others, or if his character reveals a natural tendency toward shyness. My husband and I are both very extroverted and I cannot imagine that we would have a shy child. Also could you tell me what his chart tells of his talents and interests? I would like to provide him with appropriate opportunities in areas which will be of interest to him.

Here is another one:

My daughter Kara is very bright, witty and talented but she tends to be argumentative and bossy with others. Could you please give some insight into ways that I could help her learn to live with a more cooperative spirit?

Other questions parents have are about helping children cope with divorce, acclimating to new siblings, socializing with other children or difficulties at school.

When parents are faced with a problem with their child, how do you balance finding an answer through astrology vs. just writing it off as a bad day?

If you think of your own life, you know that some things have always come easily to you while others have required effort to learn. As we get older, we realize that everybody has a mixture of easy and hard and that it is how we deal with both that forms our character and determines our choices.

Here is an example. A child with Mercury, the planet of thinking, perception and communication next to Saturn, the planet of responsibilities, will be a careful and conscientious communicator. She may also be afraid of making a mistake and studying for a test can be quite an anxiety-producing experience. While most kids will want to do well on an exam and can feel anxious when studying, they don’t carry that feeling into other areas of life. But the Mercury-Saturn child wants to apply her mind in a very serious way to everything. How can a parent guide this child?

First, telling her to not to worry or to lighten-up won’t be helpful and may even cause her to feel bad about the way she thinks. Introducing her to subjects and engaging her in conversation where she can apply her strong methodical mind would help give her confidence and praising her for her contentiousness will help her to feel good about herself.

Some famous people who have these two planets next to each other in their charts are the signers Alanis Morissette and Pink and the actor Ricky Schroder. Noam Chomsky, who is known in as one of the fathers of modern linguistics, and Albert Einstein also have Saturn and Mercury together in their charts. All of these people have applied their considerable mental power but in different areas.

What would you say is the most important advantage to be gained from understanding and utilizing astrology?

Astrology provides a nonjudgmental framework within which people can understand themselves and the important people in their lives. Often we personalize people’s reactions and behaviors that really have little or nothing to do with us. Or, if one of our innate gifts does not receive support from others, we may never explore a talent that would bring great satisfaction and happiness.

Using astrology for timing is one of its most wonderful uses. I have an article Destiny, Fate, and Free Will: Using Astrology for Planning on my website that talks much more about this subject. For now, think about it like this: You look up the weather forecast so that you are informed. If snow is arriving the following day, you may decide to take the train instead of drive to work. If rain is forecasted, you are likely to bring your umbrella with you. No one would accuse you of not using your free will!

An astrologer analyzes the solar system “weather” and tells you when times are harmonious, as an example, to launch a business. But the most common way that people utilize this part of astrology is to consult an astrologer to look at the year ahead so they can utilize that time period in the most productive way possible.

Do you have any advice for moms who are interested in astrology but have no idea how to start making use of it in their own lives?

Because astrology is a non-regulated profession, the best way to find a qualified astrologer is to get a referral through someone you know and trust. Make sure they have been an astrologer for over ten years and preferably longer. Once you find someone, and most astrologers consult by phone so he or she does not have to live near you, make an appointment to discuss your chart. Reading children’s charts is a special skill and many astrologers do not really know how to talk about children’s charts. So first see how they do talking about just your chart.

My book Lucky Stars after three printings recently went out of print or I would recommend it! You may be able to find a used copy. I wrote Lucky Stars to help young people to become more confident, empowered human beings and to provide practical strategies to assist them in negotiating their world. But, even though I wrote it for a younger audience, it is for anyone who wants to know more about their Sun Sign and how they can use the traits of the Sign to become happier and more successful. I am looking for another publisher, so if any of your members would like to be notified when Lucky Stars is re-released, they can sign up for my free newsletter.

If anyone would like to learn more about the planetary influences, I post weekly information about them on my site at www.amandaowen.com. That information is not for each Sun Sign, but is about what we all experience. For example, when there is a full moon, the heightened emotions that so often accompany full moons affect us all.

Thanks so much for talking to us, Amanda!

Curious about astrology and its effect on your own life? Want to understand something about your child? If you have a question you'd like to ask Amanda, please leave a comment below or send us an email (so your question can be anonymous). We'll then post your questions along with Amanda's answers at a later date. And, in the meantime, don't forget to follow Amanda on Twitter at http://twitter.com/DailyStarTweets

Amanda Owen Bio:If there was a map that showed your strengths and described in detail how to capitalize on them to create success and happiness, would you want it? For over twenty-five years Amanda Owen has been interpreting that map, the astrological birth chart, helping people to create the life they want. Amanda is passionate about educating the public about astrology and its modern-day application to peoples’ lives. Her astrological studies began in 1974 and she has maintained a private practice serving an international clientele since 1985. Amanda is the author of Lucky Stars: Use Astrology to Get the Scoop on Life, Love and Friendship (Three Rivers Press, 2001), countless articles and is currently a featured writer for the world’s largest astrology website www.astrology.com. She is the author of the forthcoming book The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve. Her websites are www.amandaowen.com and www.thepowerofreceiving.com. She also has a blog Sand Painting My Life One Day at a Time where she posts her photographs accompanied by inspiring quotes. And, for daily astrological information, follow Amanda on Twitter at http://twitter.com/DailyStarTweets

An Interview with Nancy Gruver of Daughters.com

Thanks so much for taking the time to talk to us, Nancy! To start, we’d love to hear a bit about your background and how you ended up where you are today.

Tell us about the inspiration behind NewMoon.com.

We saw a great need for a safe social network where girls can nurture their creativity and support one another.  Girls ages 8-12 have been yearning for a place online where they can create and interact.  Once they are too old for Club Penguin but not old enough to join Facebook, they need their own community online.  We’re thrilled to provide them with NewMoon.com: a safe, creative and positive world for girls online.

Did the process of creating New Moon have an effect on your own relationship with your two daughters?

Absolutely!  As anyone who’s raised a girl knows, it can be tricky to find common ground with your tween or teen daughter.  My daughters and I started the magazine in 1992 when they were 11, and building it together gave us something we could work on and be proud of as a team.

What makes New Moon Girls magazine different from other girls’ magazines?

New Moon Girls magazine is created by and for girls 8-12.  Our readers submit their writing, opinions and artwork for review by our Girls Editorial Board, which puts together every issue with help from adult staff.  For 17 years, New Moon Girls magazine has been a welcoming place where girls can create, grow and support one another.  And now with the creation of NewMoon.com, girls no longer have to just wait impatiently for the magazine to arrive in the mail.  At any moment, they can go online to create, explore and interact with one another. 

What, personally, is your favorite part of the magazine?

No fair to ask such a hard question! I love all the parts.  One favorite is Global Village where our members connect to girls around the world by learning about the life of a girl their age. So far we’ve featured more than 70 countries. Another favorite is Ask A Girl: members share their problems and then get advice from other members.  The problems cover the most important parts of girls’ lives from school to friends to family.  And the advice they give each other is impressively thoughtful, empathetic, mature and balanced.  I love it because girls benefit greatly from knowing they aren’t alone with their problems and challenges, especially in the tween and early teen years. 

Recently, you expanded New Moon to include Daughters.com, a great resource for parents raising girls. What led you to create this new website?

Throughout our history, New Moon Girl Media has guided and encouraged girls to create and explore as writers, artists and editors of New Moon Girls magazine and the online community NewMoon.com.  At daughters.com, we provide their parents and everyone who cares about them with a comprehensive resource filled with expert articles, peer advice and parent-to-parent support for raising girls.

How do you think parents will benefit from this resource?

Parents rely on their friends, family, coworkers or even the pediatrician to provide answers and guidance on raising girls.  With daughters.com, the only one-stop shop online for all things about tween and teen girls, parents have volumes of expert advice at their fingertips on topics ranging from body image and healthy friendships to successful communication and family dynamics. 

As a mom of daughters, what would you say are the most challenging and rewarding things about raising girls?

For me, what was most challenging was to not overprotect them from difficulties, challenges, disappointments, even some failures.  Of course I didn’t want them to experience any of those things.  But as girls grow, they learn from all their experiences, good and bad.  And often the “bad” times reveal their inner strengths and call on them to be true to themselves.  Seeing my daughters be true to themselves and their values in very trying situations is the greatest reward for me.  Seeing them bring their unique gifts to the world.  

What advice would you give to parents who want to encourage creativity in their girls?

Remember that creativity includes much more than purely artistic talent. We’re all creative in many ways in our daily lives as we make friends, solve problems, try a new way of doing something, plant a garden, cook a meal, repair a car, comfort someone, write a note, balance the family budget, or rearrange a room. A girl’s sense of herself as a creative person is directly influenced by two things parents can do: recognize and celebrate her creativity in small things as well as large, and recognize your own creativity and share it with her.

What is one thing about the mother-daughter relationship that you wish you had known when you were growing up?

That our relationship could keep changing and developing and I and my mother changed and developed. 

What’s next for you? Do you have any thoughts about expanding on Daughters.com in the future?

Right now my focus is on bringing New Moon and daughters.com through these challenging economic times so that the support they offer to girls and parents will continue to serve the cause of empowering girls and parents.

For more information, be sure to visit New Moon and Daughters.com.

Win an Electrolux Refrigerator!

 

Celebrate summer, help a cause, and enter to win.

Lemonade stands practically epitomize summer. I remember, years ago, setting up a makeshift stand at the end of my driveway and selling lemonade to friends and family – for only 10 cents! And, of course, much more recently, I can recall afternoons spent squeezing lemons, scooping sugar, chilling big pitchers of lemonade in our fridge, and helping my own two kids set up shop to sell cold drinks to our neighbors and other passersby. (Of course, by then, prices had gone up rather dramatically!)

Just in time for the warm weather, Electrolux and Kelly Ripa are kicking off their Virtual Lemonade Stand campaign to drive awareness and raise funds for Ovarian Cancer Research.

Starting this month, you can visit electroluxappliances.com to design and open your own virtual lemonade stand and even pick the flavors of lemonade you want to feature at your stand, from Sparkling Ginger to Rosemary Watermelon.

For every stand opened, Electrolux will donate $1 to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF). In addition, you can help the cause even more by buying and sending virtual glasses of lemonade to your friends and family, with 100% of the proceeds benefiting OCRF. This is a great way to celebrate the beginning of summer, let friends know you’re thinking of them, and support a great cause. Even better, just for opening your stand, and then again every day that you log in and visit your stand, you will be entered to win a new French Door Refrigerator from Electrolux – perfect for storing your own pitchers of lemonade. When others donate to your stand, they will also have a chance to win.

The new French Door Refrigerator by Electrolux has some cool new features that make it a great refrigerator for entertaining. There is the Perfect Temp Drawer™, which provides storage for any number of items that you want to keep at the ideal temperature. It’s also a large enough refrigerator to store everything from party platters to juice boxes. The French Door Refrigerator also offers double the ice so there is always enough ice on hand to fill your pitchers of lemonade.

In addition, Mom Central will be giving away one French Door Refrigerator to a member of our community!* To enter, simply leave us a comment below by June 22 that (1) tells us about the lemonade stand you designed on the Electrolux site and which flavors you are ‘selling,’ and (2) shares your own “summer entertaining” tips/ideas. Mom Central will pick one lucky winner in a random drawing from all entries received. Good luck!

* All taxes, including but not limited to federal, state and local taxes, and any other costs and expenses associated with prize acceptance are the sole responsibility of the winner, including any costs of installation.

Interested in more giveaways? Browse through the Mom Central Giveaways & Freebies Roundup!

Deciding Whether to Take Separate Flights When Traveling With Your Spouse

Although I have never talked it about publicly before - both my parents died in a Pan Am plane crash in Pago Pago in 1974 en route home from visiting relatives in New Zealand. Ever since we had our two kids, now 16 and 15, my husband and I (married for 22 years) have taken separate flights. Our policy is that we will fly together if the whole family travels together. And the truth is- it’s worked great. It gives us peace of mind that if tragedy should strike, we have one of us left standing to raise our kids. We always manage to arrive at our destinations within about 1/2 hour of each other.

Losing both my parents at age 12 proved such a tragedy- but one that I have emerged from with a wondrous life. And now I realized that I could share my takeaways with other parents out there angsting about this decision on splitting flights (and picking a guardian for your kids which unfortunately goes along with it if you decide to fly together and proves so tough to find the right family member or best friend).

This issue just resonates to my core, without being a morose topic. The fact is that life is unpredictable, and stuff happens. Here’s some key takeaways I have realized.

~ LIGHTNING STRIKES
We all assume that it will not happen to us, that the odds are a billion to one, and that honestly splitting flights (or having disagreements over who will be best guardian on either side of the family) proves both a hassle and anxiety provoking. But literally in the Air France plane crash it was lightening striking. And if it happens, the consequences for kids can be overwhelming.

~ DEVASTATING CONSEQUENCES
Being orphaned myself when my parents large Pan Am flight from New Zealand to Hawaii crashed in Pago Pago in 1974 (Background for you: landed in short of the runway in a tropical storm, carrying chemicals in the hold, whole plane blew up, 9 people escaped alive over the wings), I, my brother, the cousins we moved in with, our entire extended family spent much of the next two decades working through the intensity of the loss.

~ CONSIDER IT A PARENTAL INSURANCE POLICY
Even one parent alive and providing continuity, stability, and love beats a guardian hand down. For my brother and I, our parents death meant within a week leaving our home in Pittsburgh, all our friends, relatives, schools, classmates and activities to move cities and start again. Splitting flights acts as a powerful insurance policy.

~ DOWNPLAY IT TO YOUR KIDS
No need to run through “what-if” scenarios with your kids – as it will only make them worried. A sense of humor helps deflect questions: “Your Dad smells bad on planes! ;-) Or snores when napping.“ The chance of a crash may be small, but ultimately it could destroy the rest of your kids lives.

~ IF YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER, HAVE A WILL & GUARDIAN CHOSEN
If you decide to travel together, make sure you have an updated will and guardianship provision- the last thing you want is for a a court to decide who raises your kids, and run the risk that they get placed into foster care pending a resolution.

For more, check out the recent GMA segment I did on the topic.

Canadian Moms: Sign Up Here!

Sign-up for the Canadian Mom Testing Panel and be entered for a chance to win one of 5 Canon cameras.

Mom Central now offers Canadian moms an opportunity to share their opinions about products and services AND a chance to win cool stuff through our many GIVEAWAYS.

If you'd like to be updated by email about our sampling and survey opportunities please register here. By signing up during the month of June, you’ll be entered in the draw for a chance to win* 1 of 5 Canon PowerShot cameras.

* Contest is open to Canadian residents only. Contest runs from June 1, 2009 to June 30, 2009. Draw date will take place on July 6, 2009. Winners will be notified by email.